Let’s say you go on Facebook and see that your ex has found someone else. Regardless of how happy they seem, or how nice their new partner looks, your first thought might be “What a slut” or “What a douche.” Or perhaps your best friend gets their dream job, while you’re still stuck as a temp. You find yourself hoping, just the slightest, they’ll screw up their first day. Whatever the situation, you know you should be happy for the other person, but you still feel as though you’ve been cheated.
Being happy in your own situation is not easy. And the one thing any rational adult knows is that nothing is easy, especially being happy. We have so many daily grinds to balance that something like seeing an ex with someone new, or watching a friend move up the social ladder, can throw a wrench in keeping that balance consistently steady.
My father always says, “There’s always something” — always something to worry about, always something to keep an eye on, some new problem you have to solve. Whether those problems are internal or external, it doesn’t matter — our attention is always drawn to something worrisome.
Easing that vicious daily cycle starts with not turning life into a race or a contest.
We each have an idea of what will make us happy, ideas usually preceded by “if”: if I have a boyfriend…if I have my dream job…if I have this amount of money to my name…if…if…if. “If” indicates that something could be, and possibility is very appealing. I’m not saying that entertaining possibility is a bad thing, but we cannot spend too long dreaming and pining. Eventually, you have to suck it up and carry on with your day.
There is a saying about how the moon never competes with the sun: that is, the moon and the sun each rise at a designated point in the day. Each is equally beautiful and important to our lives, but they each have their time to shine.
It’s the same thing with flowers. They never compete as to who can bloom the fastest and look the prettiest. Each flower grows at its own natural pace, and each one is beautiful for one reason or another.
In other words, you might be a rose, and another person might be a daffodil. You’re both equally important, but you bloom and grow at different times, and at different rates. Know your own importance and self-worth, and you can thrive like the rose or daffodil — or whatever bloom you like — that you are.